Conversations with Cats - Dry Food

I see you on the dining table. Is this where you eat?

I try, I go up, day 1, day 2, wait for all to sit, but get kicked off. Am I part of family or humans are animalists?

You are philosophical for a cat. Would love to have some conversations with cats. 

We cats has no copyrights, you publish my mewos and make money. Human still feeds me same boring eats.

Tell me about it.

One time long time, I was size 10 times small than size now, one scary woman in white pokes, opens my mouth, says to human, feed this to cats.

What is it that human feeds you then?

I no know label read, I call it food crunchies, crunchies for 4,410 days now, so bored of crunchies. Human tries tricks, puts crunchies in funny blue thing, but cats knows. Same crunchies.

And where do you eat those crunchies?

Same day long time ago when scary woman in white pokes me, human goes and do art. Human thinks art is of me, but cats know cats is much cuter.

My question was where do you eat, not in what. So where is this not-as-cute-as-you dish?

Human has it in cats room, big room for cats running, desk climbing, sofa scratching room.

And why is the food next to the not-as-cute-as-you dish and not in it?

I told you me bored of crunchies, me throw them around when eat. Crunchies taste nicer and nicer on floor.

Is this your only food dish? somerville kitchen is a big house. 

Nein, human worries me eat no enough crunchies. Human has crunchies everywhere. 

And who's that next to crunchies?

That my xes toy for 4,230 days now. Toy like crunchies, is everywhere.

Hmm...back to food, do you eat from this dish?

You forget fast human. Cats just told human crunchies taste nicer and nicer on the floor, any floor.

Any last words for us cats?

Yes, tell human fill funny blue thing with party mix crunchies. Cats LOVE party crunchies. Cats too old to jump high for party crunchies.